Vermont Goes for Obama

The polls have closed, and the networks have just called the great state of Vermont for Senator Barack Obama.

Vermont, which borders Senator Clinton's home state of New York, has gone overwhelmingly for Senator Obama.

As a show of unity, I've decided to help the Clinton campaign out by giving them as many reasons as possible to dismiss Vermont as insignificant, unimportant, and generally irrelevant.

1. It's got a large, proud African-American electorate, of course Obama was going to win¹

2. It's a caucus state. They don't need a president

3. We'll never carry Vermont in November. It's irrelevant

4. Obama spent way more time in Vermont than I did

Wow, this is getting hard. Let me think for a little ...

Okay. I've got some.

5. It's a bovine-loving dairy state. Obama always wins those.

6. Hillary doesn't do well in states that come after Turn in the alphabet, because it's her turn. Everybody knows that.

7. Jesse Jackson won Vermont²

8. It's chock-full of Prius-driving, Birkenstock-wearing, latte-drinking trust fund babies.

9. Well, Vermont routinely elects a Jewish socialist. It's only a short stretch to vote for that Communist Islamo-Jew.

10. Any state that elects that rule-enforcing asshole as their Governor is completely and utterly irrelevant

And yes, I know it's a small state, and I know that Obama may well lose the other states by significant margins. I just wanted to write this.

¹ Vermont is 0.7% black, and 95.7% non-Hispanic white. Only Maine is whiter.
² Of course, it wasn't a primary that year