No babies allowed in new health plan for 20-somethings

Here's your opportunity to travel to the future! No crazy contraptions, no need to to drop in on your parents' prom night...oh where was I. Oh yes. A new health plan in Minnesota, designed for young adults (20-somethings) DOESN'T COVER PREGNANCY OR CHILDBIRTH.

http://www.startribune.com/...

Now I know that we're all used to seeing 90-year-old actresses drop triplets, but the average childbearing age is still firmly in the twenties.  So why design a health plan that specifically excludes one of the biggest medical events of that decade?

BECAUSE IT'S THE FUTURE, THAT'S WHY! AND IN ADDITION TO LOUSY HEALTH PLANS THERE ARE CREEPY PEOPLE HIDING IN CAVES UNDERGROUND WAITING TO BECOME OUR FOOD! Once again, I digress.

Maybe this has happened before, elsewhere, I don't care. I just noticed it tonight, and to me, this is where our health insurance system is going. Where else can it go? The insurance companies note, rightly, that any coverage at all for the generation in their twenties is a bonus. Yeah, sure. But let's think about this a bit more, shall we, before Charleton Heston shows up and tells me what I'm eating.

Ok, so babies are out. They're totally not cool anyway. I mean, you know, Britney had a couple of 'em and then it got real messy and you KNOW you don't want to deal with that shit.  And think of the puking. You think your cat pukes, kids are worse. If you have a cat AND a kid, you're like totally screwed, and you have to get new carpet, and that is SO NOT COVERED IN THE HEALTH PLAN OF THE FUTURE.

Next up: Medicare stops covering osteoperosis and heart attacks! Now we all have cheap Medicare! Oh, sorry Bob, you should have saved up for that angiogram, just to damned expensive.  Please expire over there so we don't trip on you.

But here's the deal about this HEALTH PLAN OF THE FUTURE which is what I am going to call it.  This is where it's going.  Maybe they'll stick with this, maybe they'll get a backlash (hey, whoever buys all those antiabortion ads all over Minnesota freeway signs...might be nice to hear from you guys on this one!).  Pick a demographic, exclude the most prominent health issue. Double points if it affects women's health more than men's! No, TRIPLE POINTS! STOP ME NOW!

Yeah, well, whatever. The rest of you guys can analyze this better than me. I just wanted to draw attention to the HEALTH PLAN OF THE FUTURE so you can all sign up.  Too bad it doesn't come with free condoms.